legs like jelly

by Kaylah Stroup

Sometimes I have photos that I really like, and want to share but honestly have no idea what to write in the post. Not in the sense that I have nothing to say, but I don’t know what I should say.* I would never want to encourage anyone reading to trespass, especially not somewhere like this. Sorry to be that guy – “do as I say not as I do.”

So should I tell you about how my butt was literally too big to squeeze through the fence and how I had to find an alternative route? Or how I sent my mom photos from this view while I was up there just to get a reaction? Her response was “Nice view!! Where are you? Should I tell you to get down?” Instead maybe I’ll just say that every time I do something like this my legs are like jelly but the second I conquer that fear I can’t help but think “worth it!”

Valentine’s Day marked two years since I picked up the keys for my first apartment. It’s kind of funny writing that because I know there are lots of people reading out there who probably don’t know or quite understand how radically different my life is now, how radically different I am now, and that’s totally fine. You don’t have to know any details, just know that it feels like I’m a totally new person and that it’s a good thing. I’m lucky to have found the friends I did when I moved to Cleveland. They’re an odd bunch but they’ve certainly molded me into the adventure loving wild child I’ve become these last two years. I couldn’t be happier. They encourage me do things that push me out of my comfort zone and that’s exactly what I need in my life. Two years ago I was looking at the possibility of this new life with legs that felt like jelly. These have been the best 24 months of my life. It was, without a doubt, worth it.

Be careful out there but don’t forget to live a little. Happy Monday!
xoxo

*Kind of funny, this post sat in my drafts for a little while with just those first two paragraphs about not knowing what to write then just as I was about to delete it it hit me exactly where I wanted the post to go. Part of me wanted to edit it so it wasn’t a mess but I appreciate how honest this feels. I hope you do to. 

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45 comments

Laura Go February 15, 2016 - 2:00 pm

These are amazing shots! I would be terrified to death if I was that high!!! Good on you to be pushing yourself and facing your challenges head on as those experiences contribute to molding the best version of yourself!

Kaylah February 16, 2016 - 12:47 pm

<333

Tara Hammond February 15, 2016 - 2:25 pm

My legs feel like jelly just looking at these pictures! You are brave in more ways than one! I can't imagine moving to a new city by yourself but it sounds like you have really found your people and place. That's awesome!

Kaylah February 16, 2016 - 12:48 pm

Thanks, Tara! 🙂

kittenofdoom.com February 15, 2016 - 3:30 pm

Great shots! Definitely some of the nicer and more interesting bridge shots I have seen (not the standard cliched angles, over-editing, etc).

Kaylah February 16, 2016 - 12:49 pm

Hey, thanks!

Sarah Albertson February 15, 2016 - 6:29 pm

This looks like such an exhilarating adventure, I'm glad you shared it with us 🙂 Congratulations on two years in Cleveland! I can definitely tell by reading your blog all these years that you have really come a long way since your big move, and I think that's just so great!

Kaylah February 16, 2016 - 12:49 pm

Thank you so much, Sarah! 🙂

Britt February 15, 2016 - 7:58 pm

I would never have the guts to get up that high and play around like that! I'd be on the ground rooting y'all on, haha. Great photos as usual!

Kaylah February 16, 2016 - 12:52 pm

Hahah! There are some times I want to just do that too. I can think of two times in particular I was basically dead set on just chilling on the ground watching but was talked into joining them (and it was definitely not as scary as I had made it in my mind to be!)

mysterymoor February 15, 2016 - 11:16 pm

It was worth it, the photos are great!

Kaylah February 16, 2016 - 12:52 pm

Thanks! 😀

The Evil Banana February 15, 2016 - 11:42 pm

beautiful! but i'll be honest my legs get jelly and my tummy wants to join in just thinking about how high up you are! brave ladybug!

Kaylah February 16, 2016 - 12:54 pm

Hehe, sorry! 😀

Elora Nelson February 16, 2016 - 12:51 am

Eeek! Looks like this was equal part fun, and terrifying. Lovely shots!

Kaylah February 16, 2016 - 12:54 pm

Thanks, Elora! 🙂

Kelly Jean February 16, 2016 - 3:01 am

I love this completely hones post. And you so brave! I am terrified of heights and would not trust those steel beams to hold me up. That being said, yes to adventure! Always!

Kaylah February 16, 2016 - 12:55 pm

Thank you! 🙂

Kate Wilson February 16, 2016 - 3:54 am
Kaylah February 16, 2016 - 12:56 pm

🙂

trillie February 16, 2016 - 8:28 am

I'm going through a similar thing right now. The moving out, the leaving behind of cats, the jelly legs… it's very sad. I really hope that, like you, I will find a whole new and exciting life waiting for me. You are an inspiration, Kaylah!

Kaylah February 16, 2016 - 12:58 pm

Sending you all my good vibes!!! You got this! <3333

L'Oursonne February 16, 2016 - 8:38 am

I love your words on this post, I love this blue, I would like to be up there and feel what you feel!…
What a chance to identify that our life is in the best way it could be!Enjoy and savour it!

Kaylah February 16, 2016 - 12:58 pm

Thank you! 🙂

Stephanie Lee February 16, 2016 - 2:43 pm

These photos are awesome. I don't know if I could do that, though. I would get up there and then be too scared to even take photos. haha!

Kaylah February 16, 2016 - 3:22 pm

Hehe!

Birdie February 16, 2016 - 4:52 pm

Awww my ex husband took me there years ago. He said he used to climb onto the catwalk and lay there listening to the water in high school. Beautiful

Kaylah February 16, 2016 - 10:57 pm

Hah! That's so crazy! It really is a relaxing spot.

Lauren Lalicon February 16, 2016 - 6:00 pm

Whoa, I almost lost my breath there! Props to you for climbing that high up! Must've been mighty satisfying up there 🙂

Kaylah February 17, 2016 - 5:07 pm

Heck yeah!

M Ryc February 16, 2016 - 7:00 pm

Hi,

I have been reading your blog every once in a while. But my appologies. This is my first comment. When you made your change two years ago. I was very unhappy, in a relationship that made me numb. But I didn' t had the courage to leave. When I saw you making your moves forward. It made me see that I could when the time was ready. 1 1/2 years ago I took the jump. Though my life isn't as settled as I would like and needs some work. I am very happy to be me again. Taking risks to feel alive. Feel like Catching up. Reconnected with friends. Make new ones. Revived the passion for drawing, photography, singing. My cat also changed completely in the best possible way. From a shy girl to a lady who demands her space and love. Weird how we can be so intertwined with our pet. Thank you for showing me a beautiful future. Wish you all the best on every adventure.
Kind regards.

Kaylah February 17, 2016 - 5:06 pm

I'm at a loss for words. I really don't even know how to respond to this. It means to much to read your comment. I am so happy to hear you're feeling like you again.

<3333

steph rivers February 16, 2016 - 9:16 pm

Wooosh. Those photos made my palms sweat a little. Kudos for you to embracing change and livin' life (it looks fantastic)!

Kaylah February 17, 2016 - 5:06 pm

Hehe! Sorry about the sweaty palms! 😛

Becky February 17, 2016 - 9:57 am

"I would never want to encourage anyone reading to trespass, especially not somewhere like this." – Ha, you couldn't encourage me to get up there (although I'd actually really want to and regret not doing it, I need to get myself some odd friends lol). I'm always a little jealous of your trespassing, especially the abandoned buildings, maybe I don't look hard enough but there just doesn't seem to be places like that here (UK).
I've been reading your blog for years and it's always so great to see how much happier you are now and how much more fun you seem to be having. I hope that didn't come across creepy!
Anyway, these photos are great, keep trespassing for those of us that can't :p

Kaylah February 17, 2016 - 5:08 pm

Noo, that absolutely doesn't come across as creepy at all. I love hearing that – seriously, nothing makes me happier!

Thank you so much! <3

Marine February 17, 2016 - 3:57 pm

(More honest posts like these, please. Thank you! 😉 )

This is the direction I've been trying to go on my blog as well. I love that line "So should I tell you about how my butt was literally too big to squeeze through the fence and how I had to find an alternative route?" … because that is LIFE. And these spaces are supposed to be a somewhat proper representation of that, right? So I'm trying to embrace myself and how I interact with the world and find the right way to share that. I enjoyed this.

Kaylah February 17, 2016 - 5:10 pm

Thank you, Marine.

I should probably also note that I pouted for a while in embarrassment because I couldn't fit through that fence. Sometimes it really stinks to hang out with skinny dudes and their tiny hips. 😛

Caleisha February 17, 2016 - 6:12 pm

I really enjoyed how honest this post was. I started reading your blog a few years ago, so I remember how nervous you were about going out to drive your car or even ride your bike. I remember you talking about how scary it was for you to take pictures on your deck. So I'm super excited and proud of the strides you've made and the even more awesome person you've become! Keep on pushing yourself out of that comfort zone! It's quite inspirational 🙂

Kaylah February 18, 2016 - 1:59 pm

Dude, I just stumbled upon that post the other day where I was talking about being too nervous to take photos on my deck. It's so strange to read that now.

Thank you so much!!! <3333

Damaris // The cat, you and us February 17, 2016 - 7:02 pm

Love love love this post for so many reasons. It is so inspiring to read your words talking about taking risks & step out of your comfort zone (with the perfect matching pics) while also keeping it fun and down to earth, and also I feel trust and love from your words, towards your +1 and your friends, such a warm post! And keeping it real… I could never ever ever climb that up, wow! I'm such a scaredy cat with heights, even inside an elevator (blush).

Kaylah February 18, 2016 - 2:00 pm

Even in an elevator? I mean, I guess don't really like elevators too much either. The slightest noise from them and I'm nervous!

Mark Basedow February 17, 2016 - 10:58 pm

I'm really glad you got around to posting these, they're gorgeous! The colors are amazing!

Kaylah February 18, 2016 - 2:00 pm

Thank you so much.
🙂

Liz March 15, 2016 - 7:35 am

Wow this gave me minor anxiety. In a good way ^_^

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